Other pages in the happiness section:
- happiness
- summary page
- being happy
- studies show what makes people happy and what doesn't
- faith and wellbeing
- religious faith seems to improve wellbeing
- help
- sources of professional help
- being happy references
- books and websites I used to write "being happy"
- the shadow
- sometimes and for some people, life sucks
- the shadow references
- books and websites I used to write "the shadow"
- positive psychology
- what this branch of psychology can do for you
Adam Duritz of Counting Crows writes about people on the margins, for example:
"The girl on the car in the parking lot says
Man you should try to take a shot,
Can't you see my walls are crumbling?
Then she looks up at the building and says she's thinking of jumping.
She says she's tired of life - she must be tired of something."
There are many reasons why people might wonder about life. Some people simply don't have happy lives. We may know what makes people happy, but it doesn't always work out for us. And even for those who have happy lives, there is still plenty to make us think.
the shape of the world
In some countries, most people struggle just to keep life going. Obtaining clean water, fuel, food, shelter and work may be major issues. (See "a Rwandan life".) For others, threat of extreme persecution or denial of basic human rights such as freedom of speech are constant realities:
- there are about 20 million refugees worldwide
- more than a billion people lack clean water
- 120 million children do not go to school
- human trafficking and slavery, predominantly of women and children, for prostitution, forced labour and military service, is a lucrative and growing crime against humanity
- 25 million people suffer from HIV/AIDS in Africa, most with no access to health care
- in some countries, people are murdered or disappear, without governments taking action
- some countries have a high rate of legal executions
- violence against women persists in many countries
- many countries resort to torture and state-sanctioned violence
- acts of terrorism are committed around the globe, often sanctioned by governments
- indigenous people remain victims in many countries
- half a million women die every year during pregnancy or childbirth
The fact that so much of this is known and reported, yet is only being addressed in a limited way, does not reflect well on us all.
empty in the land of plenty?
the good?
In the west, most of us do not have to face such terrors and indignities. For most of us, most of the time, life is good, and we are free to pursue whatever we choose to make our lives meaningful.
- We may choose to seek wealth, power or status, work long in prestigious jobs, or accumulate better homes, cars, clothes and friends.
- We may seek fulfillment via relationships, pleasure, sport or sex.
- We may choose to live altruistically, caring for the disadvantaged, or the environment, or human rights.
- Some of us seem to be quite content just to live normal lives of family, work, friends, activities and holidays.
- Or we may decide to save up a little more and break free - move up the coast and at last have time for surfing and friends.
"I've got a plan, this time it will work." David Bridie
the bad?
But it doesn't always work. Life isn't always good. Sometimes things are going well, but at other times we can fear the worst. Are we just pawns in the game of life?
- We may be concerned about the fact that if everyone used as much of the world's wealth as we do, it would require 8 or 10 earths to sustain us all, or we may feel deep compassion for those suffering in other parts of the world. These things may make us feel uneasy and less able to enjoy 'the good life'.
- Sometimes, people can do no more than just get by, without the luxury of thinking too much. Get up, go to work, go home, sleep, earn enough to pay off the unit, look forward to the next party, or the ski holiday next winter. Thoreau talks of people "living lives of quiet desperation", and this seems to be true for some.
- About one in eight Australians are now classified as "poor" and about 800,000 children now live in homes where no parent has a job. The gap between rich and poor is widening. Many struggle to make ends meet.
- Each year, about 80,000 Australians attempt suicide and over 50,000 couples divorce. 100,000 Australians are homeless and almost 700,000 unemployed.
and the ugly?
There is much in western culture that we can feel good about. We have great personal freedom, people can show great altruism and concern for others (e.g. the support given to victims of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami), and in our generation we have made great advances in recognising and dealing with racism, sexism and environment protection.
But the values pushed at us by much of our culture are twisted, often imbibed uncritically from the lowest common denominator of magazines and TV, so that we reinforce what all know deep down is false.
- We have magazine articles listing the (supposedly) world's most beautiful people, but never the most caring people.
- Personal image seems to be more important than integrity and reality - is this what we are building our relationships on?
- The stars and the "beautiful people", or even those in the fishbowl of so-called reality TV, are often more significant than those who contribute very positively to others' wellbeing.
- The privileged seem to feel less responsibility for the under-privileged.
- In Sydney, we seem to be victims of crass materialism, building bigger and uglier homes while our families are more fractured than ever.
- It seems that our materialistic greed, our gadgets and our fears are isolating us from each other. Our cities seem less and less like communities.
"Reality has become dreary, flat and utilitarian, leaving a great void in the souls of men which they seek to fill by furious activity and through various devices and substitutes." Sociologist Max Weber
what does it all mean?
Richard Eckersley argues that the values and priorities of our society do not promote personal and social wellbeing. Western societies, he says, are "promoting a cultural norm of autonomy that is unrealistic". We jealously guard our freedom of choice and our personal affluence, but we often forget that our choices may lead to consequences that destroy what we value. It is no wonder that some are dissatisfied with aspects of life and have a yearning for something more.
"What seems to be lacking is a guiding story ...... a set of coherent ideals, values and beliefs ....." Hugh Mackay
Could there possibly be a larger meaning, a big picture which makes sense of it all? Are we part of some cosmic plan? Or can we find purpose without a cosmic plan? Or should we just make the best of it - live our lives for the moment and what pleasure we can get out of it?
"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is, or is not, worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy." Albert Camus
what do you think?
Are you happy you have a handle on happiness and life? Or could you benefit from thinking it through a little more?
Some people look for guidance from the stars, or magazine articles, or self-help books which show how to be richer, more successful or popular. In clues you will find some ideas about the 'big' questions of purpose and meaning, right and wrong, life, humanity and God, in an attempt to see if any truth can be found. You may wish to explore and test.
At the cow obedience school
links
Make a comment about "you are not supposed to grin" on the forum.
Review sources and references for "you are not supposed to grin!".
Return to the main happiness page, or to reason & belief home.